gimme a best friend as my roommate
Posted by: keiness on: November 9, 2009
/whiny rant mode on
so ill tell you what the situation is like right now.
for the first time, i FINALLY have the mood to do some math. like, FINALLY.
and i can’t even stay concentrated more than 5 seconds because ITS SO LOUD AND NOISY IN MY ROOM. its the equivalent to studying in some dodgy cina club i tell you.
my very ‘considerate’ roommate is playing her chinese techno songs at FULL VOLUME.
good grief i hate it when she acts as if she’s the only one in the room. i mean, i obviously do not want to listen to chinese techno songs when i’m doing math. especially not at FULL VOLUME.
//whiny rant off.
aww-inducing moments
Posted by: keiness on: November 3, 2009
other than shower being my therapy, i also have this slight obsession with chick flicks. everytime i feel like im falling apart or when i just need to feel positive again, i look for a chick flick to watch. haha there’s just something about chick flicks- the predictibility of the storyline(who falls in love with who), the happy ending and THE SWEET MOMENTS IN IT. so my top AWWW inducing movie moments are(in no particular order).
oh but before i start, i must say that the ugly truth is by far the best movie of the year. gimme ugly truth over transformer anytime! it has the humor, the cocky/confident guy you end up loving, and the witty lines. the first time i watched it in the cinema with kim/wenn/june, we couldnt stop laughing. and i watched it again only to end up laughing more, and this hardly happens with chick flicks because most of the time the jokes are a one-time funny thing. watched it in the cinema again, and after watching it like 3 times in the cinema i just bought the dvd because i knew id want to watch it everytime im falling apart. which happens quite often here in this ridiculous college if you ask me.
so yeah, aww inducing moments.
ugly truth( hot air balloon scene)
i dont know about you, but i personally find cocky/emotionless/commitment phobic guys very appealing because when they actually fall for me, i get this very big sense of accomplishment. *proud. i thought it was so sweet when gerald butler ran to katherine heigl’s balloon to prove her wrong, and it was sweeter because they were STILL dysfunctional in the hot air balloon. i think it was even sweeter when he told her he loved her in a very acceptable(read:non-corny/overrated) way. i love how they argued and how he kissed her in the end just to shut her up. so as a tribute to my newfound favourite movie, this was the first aww inducing scene i thought of!
Beauty and the beast(Library scene)
this isn’t a chick flick but its one of my favourite aww-inducing scene. i spend so much money on books, and i can actually stay for hours in borders just to choose a book. when i was younger, my parents used to shop a lot at bsc and they used to just drop me at times and ill actually finish reading a book. haha those hard-covered enid blyton books lah, u think i can finish a super thick book in a few hours isit! so this is one of the best scenes out there because when he gave her the library, i can almost relate to how happy she felt. gimme a guy who would buy me a library pls.. whoa i can get an orgasm thinking of a guy giving me my very own library.
Gossip girl(chuck bass scenes)
again with the whole feeling accomplished when you manage to snag the guy who is almost incapable of falling in love. i think scenes where chuck bass does something sweet is very aww-inducing because he’s the last guy you’d expect to do sweet things. i couldnt choose between my two favourite chuck bass moments so i’m gonna mention both of them here. the first was in season 3 when he and blair officially started dating and they were scared they’d get bored of each other so they came up with this game. basically chuck would flirt with a random girl who blair chooses, and blair would come in the exact moment the random girl starts coming onto chuck. maybe its because somehow i like how dysfunctional they are, but i absolutely love love love the way they played the game but still didnt take things personally. and the other chuck bass scene i love was towards the end of season 2 when chuck totally disappeared without telling blair, and blair almost gave up on chuck. so she heard how he went to europe and when she thought he was still in europe, she was walking in the streets one day and saw chuck outside his limo. after asking him in this totally sarcastic tone about what he’s doing back so soon, he takes out her gifts one by one. gifts meaning, her favourite macaroons from paris and her favourite stockings from germany. reason being, everywhere he went, she caught up with him. maybe i’m bias because i love gossip girl, but i still think its an aww-inducing scene!
A walk to remember(two places at once scene)
haha i thought it was super sweet that he helped her cross out one thing off her “before i die” list. ahh sorry my memory with this is very rusty, because its been ages since i watched the movie. but i think it goes something like, he brings her to the border between two states and asked her to put her feet wide apart. so she’s literally in two places at the same time 
. so smart! haha i feel like making my own “before i die” list and intentionally showing it to a guy im dating just so he’ll help me cross out things..
so there’s my all time favourite aww-inducing moments.
this coming from a commitment phobic girl
Posted by: keiness on: November 2, 2009
i’ve come to a conclusion that i have this thing for nice scents. well duh, nobody likes smelly things. but mine is to a point where i have a thing for guys who smell good. there’s just something very comforting with the familiarity of certain smells.
i dont know if its just me and my overly sensitive nose, but sometimes i can smell WATER. i mean, how does that happen? haha.. like the water in my house is perfect, and the water from the water cooler in my college smells like swimming pool/chlorine. and there was this time i drank water from someone’s bottle and it smelt like fish =/.
and everytime someone farts, i am always the first to detect the smell. but the very unpleasant smells aside, i think having this overly sensitive nose has its upside .
i immediately stamp a memory to each scent i smell. my grandmother’s house in japan smells like this mixture of wood and detergent, and i can smell it all the way from malaysia sometimes when she sends me parcels. everytime i use my yellow dettol soap, i think of last year when i used to go to the gym everyday-not because i used it in the gym but because i started using that soap the same time i met japboy and hence going to the gym everyday.
the other day, i caught a whiff of this very familiar cologne and i just couldnt help but to look around to see where it was coming from.. god it was so annoying, not being able to place where i smelt the exact same cologne. it was almost as bad as seeing a familiar face in a movie, but not being able to figure out where you’ve seen that actress/actor act before. i couldnt find out who used that cologne, but i did remember why it was so familiar; it was the same cologne that this guy i used to date used.
its actually quite funny, how i have this phobia with commitment but then i get commited to the scents of all the people that came into my life. its this thing i do when i meet someone new; that person becomes the boy who smells like herbal tea, or the girl who smells like shisha.
maybe thats why i have short term memory loss everytime im down with the flu 0_o
post spm blues
Posted by: keiness on: November 1, 2009
- In: school
- 2 Comments
with the form 5’s of this year counting down the days till spm, i cant help but to feel all nostalgic.
HAS IT REALLY BEEN A YEAR SINCE I SAT FOR SPM?!
there’s just too many things i miss about spm(ha ha…ha), having a second home was one of it. i miss how starbucks mont kiara was my second home because i would always gain my studying mojo there, and i miss the baristas there so much!
i still think that the starbucks baristas are amazing-they just have this way of making you feel so welcome. so the other day when i was back at home(which happens every week actually), i just had this strong urge to revisit my ex-second home. walked in and i saw this girl in her twenties sitting down on the seat i always sat on. does she know that if you lean your body to the right, you get a perfect view of everything happening outside especially on thursdays and weekends when the flea market is happening.perfect people-watching spot. does she know that its the best spot to use your laptop because its right next to the plug point? its also the best spot because its the only place you get to observe everyone in starbucks without making an effort- none of the angling your head to an awkward position to look to your right or left. does she realise how comfy the seats are and how you can actually put your feet up comfortably while leaning against the glass wall? hehehe i giggle childishly at the thought that there’s someone else who may feel the same way i did about that seat. take care of the seat, stranger
i remember the first time i sat down on that seat, and how i kept going back to the exact same seat because i just felt so comfortable there. not just literally but there was something about that place. so anyway, back to the aforementioned baristas.. they actually remembered me! 
they were like “are you the girl who kept coming here to study? i remember there was once u stayed the whole day.how did u end up doing for spm anyway?” haha this is why starbucks>coffee bean hands down.
surprisingly, i didnt have that territorial grudge against that woman the same way i have against people who use MY bathroom cubicle in college./pouts. so i sat down and lo behold, there were these two girls studying for spm.
i had that same book! success additional mathematics spm.. which reminds me, miss yuen should be so proud of me for getting an A1.i miss her and how she always had the highest disdain for me, yet she still layan-ed me and never held grudges against me for not doing anything in her class haha.
so back to those girls.. i know what they’re discussing! it totally took me the longest time to understand the stupid differentiation stuff and i was so tempted to peek at the question to test if i could still do it after all those questions i did last minute.
i miss the familiarity of everything; i guess it really has been a year since i took spm.
haha the funniest part was when i look back at our pictures, and i think about school, i really cannot remember studying at all. all we did was sit in a circle and talk about the most random things, and play football with the paper ball. i guess we studied at home and came to school to fool around 
i cant believe i have no camwhoring pics in starbucks! after all the hours(and cash) i spent there.
butter muffin
Posted by: keiness on: October 28, 2009
so tell me, when im completely empty, is there a sound assigned to how empty im feeling? because if there was a sound assigned to it, i reckon its the mechanical sound of the clock ticking – comforting for all the wrong reasons.
everything feels so superficial and fake, its like everyone’s putting too much coloured icing on a muffin that was initially meant to be a simple butter muffin. the aim of making it look tastier and prettier just got outweighed by the fact that it ended up looking so pretentious. maybe im too cynical, coupled with the possibility that ive just gotten so jaded with everything, and so i have the mindset that everything that is happening is to be taken in with a pinch of salt.
somewhere along the way, i lost myself and i need some help finding myself again.
because i wanna be able to smile effortlessly like i used to.
you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town
Posted by: keiness on: October 9, 2009
original article here : http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/10/4/lifefocus/4833134&sec=lifefocus
haha we all know how pro i am at procrastinating, so this article was written like a few hours before the deadline. so there were so much mistakes and lack of information that i think i put the editors through hell
so anyway, everyone keeps saying the article is so unlike me but i can be very emotional and sensitive at times okay! big surprise, ive realised once again how uncomfortable i am with most kmb-ians. i actually ignore a few friend requests on facebook despite knowing that we’re actually from the same college, for fear that they’ll scrutinize every single thing on my page the same way they do in real life. and when my classmate told me he read the article i was so uncomfortable because i really haven’t ‘revealed’ my personal side to most kmbians, and we all know how personal articles can get. even with my blogposts i think ive been getting very personal recently :/. dont know if thats a good thing or not.
so anyway, pictures from the aforementioned primary school in my article
don’t be fooled okay these kids are super naughty. but according to this loser right, its my fault that they pinched my ass.
me: woi u know what the kids did? THEY PINCHED MY ASS
loser: who ask u to wear those tight pants that you always wear. ur fault for putting dirty thoughts into those innocent minds
hahahahaha stupid loser.
but anyway, i love our CAS days because i can get away from the class. so its been a very moody week for me, mainly because people kept taking my naps away from me!!! good grief, and everyone knows how much my afternoon naps mean to me. tuesday’s nap was taken away by my bio teacher and her need to have an extra class-one which i left after 3o minutes since she just left after giving us handouts-, wednesday’s nap was taken away by the raya celebration which i intended to skip but got forced into going by nad and fi. thurday we had a math tutorial but i skipped it, so i ended up taking a nap.
but hey i didnt nap for two days, do u know how moody i was the whole day after that? i think right ive become so dependent on my naps that i feel so dead without them.
and i’ve done the impossible! I TOOK MY FIRST DUMP IN KMB. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
so a brief background on my erm, position. you see, i feel very uncomfortable shitting in the communal toilets because if someone else is there, then they can smell/hear me shitting right? and the dirty toilet seats dont help in promoting my shitting process. so i actually hold my shit in till i get back home on friday, earning me the overused phrase-”KEI YOU’RE LITERALLY FULL OF SHIT SO SHUT UP”.
but then i had no choice because i had this very bad stomach ache and as hard as i tried holding it in, i really couldn’t. good grief it was the worst feeling in the world but i had a few tactics to erm, promote the process. i wiped the dirty seat with antibacterial baby wipes, then i put as many tissue paper as i could on the seat. and halfway through the process i realised something black in the corner of the toilet so i thought it was a piece of newspaper cutting. after closer observation, i realised it was a fucking frog.
a frog.
A FROG.
a BLACK UGLY FROG!!!!
what to do lah i was halfway through, i just had to pray that it wouldn’t jump.
good grief, that was the first and last time ill ever shit in college.
yeah yeah too much information. but it was a very KEI moment don’t you think? i dont know why shit like that keeps happening to me. ONLY TO ME i tell you, im so jinxed.
im so jinxed that nobody wants to be my lab partner because my experiments never work out,and i always end up with the faulty apparatus. FML
university of tokyo
Posted by: keiness on: September 17, 2009
- In: places
- 6 Comments
sometimes i just wonder how would things be if i had chosen to go to japan. even after being in kmb for 3 whole months, i still don’t know the answer to whether i made the right choice or not. i mean its 3 whole months! i should at least feel like the choice was worth it, but i just ain’t feeling it now. other than the free tuition fees, i ain’t feeling the gratitude or the love for being in KMB. aih maybe it’ll come after some time.
so i was looking through the pics in my laptop and i just felt this wave of regret for not choosing to go to japan 
i know i would be infinitely happy if i was in japan right now instead of KMB, but then i dont know if i’d feel the same way 2 years down the road when i’m out of KMB. so lemme just imagine that 2 years down the road i wont regret making this decision!
haha it was SO random because i met nabila while i was in japan i was so excited to finally get to speak manglish i was practically jumping in joy when i received her email. so yeah we met up while we were there and we paid a visit to university of tokyo! for those of you who don’t know, university of tokyo is this super high ranked no.1 university in japan. every japanese would kill to go there, and if you said that you’re a student from there you’ll immediately gain everyone’s respect. dont ask me haha its a japan thing that even i have yet to understand.
haha the very famous akamon(direct translation: red gate). also said to be the symbol of the university.
with nabila in front of the yasuda auditorium. that hugeee building is just an auditorium 0_o. i miss you nabilaaaaa for those who are facebookless, u prob dont know this but nabila got into UWC costa rica! im so proud of herrrr and i get SO jealous whenever she tells me how they practise IB there, as opposed to how its practised in KMB T_T.
with nabila again in front of sanshiro pond. i remember it being the shape of a heart, so cutee <3! okay it doesnt look pretty here in the pic but it really was pretty
okay i forgot where this was, but i think it was in front of some field. if im not mistaken it was a baseball field? whoa and at this point i was so glad i didnt decide to wear my boots because we walked so much i think i would’ve died. and i was suffering enough from the cold weather haha it was super windy that day we couldn’t even walk straight! im not exaggerating okay, the wind in japan is crazy.
the architecture faculty. buildings were super old haha well thats what u get for a university that was built in the year 1877. whoa see i know university of tokyo so much. i dont even know when KMB was founded/built. is this a sign!?!?!
hahaha after that we both got too lazy to take pics because it was too cold. but seriously we walked so much my feet hurt even though i was wearing flats.
okay i guess one good thing came out of KMB. i met nad and fi <3
whiny rant about KMB #2
Posted by: keiness on: September 13, 2009
my first few nights in KMB was miserable because at that time i didnt know the people that ive grown to love here yet and so i was stuck with these bunch of people i just couldn’t mix well with.
i just couldn’t get used to the whole “every man for himself”/”dog eat dog” concept. like how the fuck can ur grades be so important that you have to discard every single thing coming along your way? and im just not the sort of person with the whole grades=100% mentality. its moments lke this where i miss being in hartamas, i miss being a Martian. i liked how we never stepped on each other to ensure we came out top of the class, i liked how all of us never handed in our folios in time and we didnt care because our logic was if all of us passed up late the teacher cant get pissed at ALL of us, i liked how when there were no teachers in class we’d end up playing football or having useless conversations in a circle, i liked how we’d whine to each other about how SPM was a month away only to end up procrastinating even more, i liked how we NEVER looked down on each other regardless of our grades/what we wanted to be. because we were bright enough to know that grades do not mean everything.
but here, its a totally different environment and though i should adapt for the sake of not being miserable for the next two years, sometimes i cannot just adapt to this whole “every man for himself” concept.
i get so bored during english/TOK discussions because everyone’s just too timid and meek to speak their mind. it was so bad that our TOK teacher had to dismiss the discussion about ex-relationships. so the topic was how we are influenced by our past experiences, and so the teacher used exbf’s/exgf’s as an example and seriously the whole class just kept quiet. it was so awkward that i felt so sorry for the teacher, and so i was the only one along with evan who participated in the discussion. even then, the teacher just gave up and dismissed the discussion by saying “okay i can sense that you guys are feeling very awkward with this conversation” and continued with the boring slideshow.
another thing i absolutely cannot stand is the whole “making others feel bad so i feel better” concept. especially because im always the victim when it comes to this because im just not like them. ive always been the “do things at my own pace” person, and i have yet to test the ability of this trade in relation with IB. but the point is, i just dont study like the rest of my classmates. i dont do notes, i dont listen intentively to every single word the teacher says, i dont chase after the teacher to ask about something i dont understand. i have to read stuff by myself to understand, and so most of the time i skip the tutorials because i have a better time understanding the topics reading it by myself in my room. bottom line is, im different. and i shouldnt be looked down upon just because im different. in fact, there’s no possible justification for looking down on someone.
and this incident when teacher completely forgot about our lab report. so evan and i optimistically assumed that we could hand it up after the two week long raya break. i mean, if noone else passed it up she can’t very well blame anyone for not passing it up right? BUT NO, this girl just hadd to remind teacher when we should pass it up. seriously, WHY? its not like teacher can minus your marks for not passing it up when the WHOLE class didnt pass it up as well. haha sounds familiar? thats the martian mentality man. so see, in my new class there’s totally no sense of togetherness. no sense of “we’re all in this together”. T_T
and the thing that annoys me MOST to the MAX is how they look down on others who aren’t like them. i am just so tired with the whole looking down on private students remarks. when they see me using the taylors college labcoat, the first thing they’d say is “oh i heard the people there aren’t that smart.”
whoa fuck seriously they deserve a backhand slap for being so judgemental and ignorant. so i asked why do u think they arent that smart? and this dude replied “cuz they have a social life”. having a social life means u cannot be smart izit?! okay so i might be bias because most of my friends are from taylors, but hello, i can honestly tell you that the people i know from taylors are like 10 times smarter from the kmb-ians who think they are smarter.
ive been in the same class with some of those from taylors since our hartamas days, and i know for a fact that they dont become meek once there’s a class discussion. i also know that they are smart and bright people WITHOUT practising the whole “every man for himself” concept. and i also know for a fact that they get into better unis than KMB-ians. i also know that they have balanced life, and they dont practise the whole grades=100% thing.
oklah enough ranting already.. on a brighter note, ill show u the people ive come to <3 in KMB
i <3 nad and fi because we click so well. haha seriously i dont know how we got from being normal friends to them making fun of how lazy i am. describing what i have with them deserves a post on its own so im gonna stop at saying i <3 them!
the threesomes! i love them cuz they always layan my stories haha. and everytime i whine to them about something they say “dont bother la, u still have us.”
haha i dont have a picture with nicky and lashie but i heart them because they remind me so much of how saveen used to make fun of me. nostalgia nostalgia. and i heart lashie cuz he did my chem report for me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA i just threw it at him and walked off, then texted him to pls finish it for me
crush checklist
Posted by: keiness on: September 10, 2009
developing a crush is a whole bundle of earnest contradictions.
- OH NO why hasn’t he texted me yet!
- should i text him?!?!!!!
- OMG I TEXTED HIM. HE’S TAKING TOO LONG TO REPLY WHAT DID I DO!
- OMG HE REPLIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- omg there he is! god he looks so hot in that shirt.
- HE JUST SMILED AT ME* melts*
- he’s walking up to me!!! oh no, my hair! is it okay? do i look okay? do i smell good?
- why didnt he stay around longer? sheesh whatever. im so over him.
- *looks for unfinished homework*. text: “heyyyy, i need help with my chemistry
“ - OMG he’s so hot when he’s explaining stuff step by step to me *melts*
- I WANT HIM
- omg he asked me out! WHAT DO I WEAR?!
- change ur clothes ten times.
- stalk his facebook.
- reread his texts over and over again.
but somehow it all becomes worth it in the end. i think the whole crush phase is the best part when you’re still excited about the prospect of getting to know each other more.
my therapy
Posted by: keiness on: September 6, 2009
one of the things i hate about going to a boarding school is the fact that i dont get my privacy.
i can’t talk about private stuff on the phone because there’s probably another person in the room and well, some conversations are just too private/weird to be said out loud. and so i have to resort to having personal conversations while standing up outside of my room with mosquitoes sucking on my blood!
i can’t cry when i’m having a bad day because then im gonna have to answer questions. and even if there are no questions asked, its still not nice crying knowing that you’re not alone.
i cant reflect on my day because sometimes when i zone out and reflect, i give the impression that there’s something terribly wrong with me.
so you see, without my therapy i’ll go crazy one day! i have this friend here who jogs as her therapy, and my therapy is to shower.
that explains why sometimes ill shower like 5 times a day, and ill also have midnight showers. its the only way ill survive 2 years here!
haha everytime im on msn and tell people “brb,shower”, they’ll go all crazy and start the whole “WHY ARE U SHOWERING SO LATE? ITS NOT GOOD FOR U OKAY!”. and in the midst of my midnight pillow talk sessions with the girlfriends, ill abruptly get up to shower only to get blackmailed-”KEI IF U SHOWER NOW YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO COME BACK IN”
but i really love my shower sessions. i love how in the shower its just me and the cold water. i love how nobody can knock on the door to ask me for something, and i love how i’m in total control of how long the shower will last. in a totally perverse way, i love the fact that in the shower i’m the dictator, and i control the steps to shower and the flow of everything inside the shower.
i love how i can do my reflecting without having to explain why i’m so quiet, and i love how i can cry without getting all self-conscious. i love how there’s no phone while im showering, so im not pressed to reply a text or to return a phone call. i also love how good it smells while im showering.
showering’s not just sprinkling yourself with water and trying to get out as soon as possible. its about self reflection, about childish giggles when u think of that text ur crush just sent you. its how you’re in total control of what’s happening for that mere 15 minutes, its about being optimistic that maybe you are in total control of your life.
and that is why i shower at least 5 times a day when i’m in my boarding school.
`kei
18 year old with a tendency to whine and rant. object of ranting includes liverpool losing, inconsiderate people, sleep deprivation and recently my very ridiculous college. despite my whinings, i always make it a point to see the glass as half full, not half empty :)
